I cried today. I cried Sunday. I cried Saturday. Needless to say, I cried a lot this weekend.
I have a tendency to get very attached to my friends.
This weekend I had to say goodbye to two of my favorite people on the planet. Rachel, because she is moving to Hawaii for school, and Ryan, because he is going to Brazil for two years to serve an LDS mission.
I woke up early Saturday, went to Rachel's room which is/was directly above mine, and laid on her bed with her and just talked. Then we got up and she started packing, I played some of our favorite music and we just kept talking. We didn't really bring up her leaving or why she was packing or the fact that we don't really know when we'll see each other again. We just sat in that moment and enjoyed it.We laughed and reminisced and sang oldies. I helped her pack her things into her sister's car, and took home a few things she didn't want anymore.
Then it was time, we had everything done, everything out of the room and in the car, and it was time for goodbyes.
I had been so strong, but the tears hit and hit hard. I cried as I hugged her goodbye and watched her get in the car. I then proceeded to try and find a place to quietly let out my tears. My roommate was home and I felt awkward crying in front of her, so I went down to the basement of the building I live in, to the laundry room, to this sketchy, ghetto, kinda nasty little bathroom, and I sat on the floor and just cried and cried.
And then I just I started laughing.
I mean, come on. I'm sitting on the floor of a gross little secluded bathroom stall, I'm practically folded into myself because its maybe two feet across and I'm 5'11, and I'm crying hysterically, trying to wipe my eyes with this insanely scratchy toilet paper, and then as I'm sitting there, these girls come into the laundry room and proceed to talk about better ways to clean and dry their bras. They couldn't see me, and considering I didn't want to awkwardly come out of the stall with puffy red eyes, I just stayed there, trapped into hearing their inane conversation, until they left 15 minutes later.
At that point I truly lost it. I started giggling so bad, but while still slightly crying. I soon left the bathroom floor and took a much needed nap.
I can't write these situations, they just happen to me.
I miss Rachel so bad. She's one of my best friends on every level. I don't think we've ever disagreed on anything, and she has opened my eyes to so many fantastic things. So many movies and artists and music, I can't begin to describe. She is a phenomenal human being, and I am so grateful and proud to call her my friend. I'm so excited for her to go to Hawaii and get tan and be warm and have a great time at school, she deserves the best.
Rach, you've always been there for me, you're always there when I have stories to tell, and you never fail with good advice or a sympathetic ear. You're gorgeous inside and out, and you best bring me a sunset boy when we visit each other. We'll make it work. Someday we'll get a bookstore and run it together and live in an apartment on top of it. Siempre solo, but together. We'll watch cat videos and buy some cute birds and train them to do cool stuff. It's not goodbye, it's just see you later. I love you, crazy girl. I don't have anyone else in the world to make pterodactyl noises and motions with. Hahaha. If you don't like Hawaii, you can always come back.
I've known Ryan since we were probably thirteen-years-old, and we hated each other. Haha.
He was such a brat through high school, Mr. Football-playing-buttfaced-miscreant. I was just uncomfortable in my own skin and very socially awkward. We had mutual friends (kind of), and we saw each other at church activities and some school football games and such, but even though we weren't outright mean to each other, we were definitely not friends.
I went away to school, Ryan graduated, and we both grew up a bit. It really wasn't until this summer that we realized that we had the same sense of humour, and that we've been missing out on this friendship for years.
Timing is a funny thing that way. We had half our short lives to be friends, and it wasn't until about six or so months before I was leaving for school and he was leaving for his mission that we really became close.
This poor kid. He has had to deal with my batch of crazy texts and phone calls and stories of creepers and clumsy moments. He's kind of like the long lost brother/cousin person I've never had. That's what I love best about guy friends, is that once they learn that I can take a joke and dish it right back, we're bros from then on. Even though it hasn't been a long time of actual friendship, I'm so grateful for becoming friends with Ryan and all the inside jokes and good times we had before I left and then he left.
Ryan, you're awesome. You are gonna be one super missionary. I can't believe you've already been set apart and you're leaving in the morning. That means you probably won't read this for another two years, unless I copy and paste it in an email to you. I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm still working on The Letter, and it's gonna make you pee your pants from the sheer hilarity and jokes. That's right. I'm gonna embarrass you from an entire different continent. WHAT NOW? Haha. I'm glad you got all the N's out of your system before you were set apart. I have that text saved, and I will keep it to remind you of how awesome your vocabulary is. Godspeed, brother. You know I love you. Don't forget to hit up Rachel when you get back, cuz I want you two to get married and name a kid after me. It's not a lot to ask for! Anyway, I'll see you in two years, and you best believe I'ma spam you all the time.
After I was said goodbye to Ryan, I ended up calling my mom and crying, because even though I know it's not forever, and I know I will be able to contact them both, it's still a goodbye for me for now, and I hate it. I want all of my loved ones near me all the time. Plus, this weekend wasn't really fair with the two of them leaving me at the same time. My poor heart has a hard time handling these things. Time is going to fly, it really is. But it's ok to be a little bit sad right now.
Appreciate the people in your life that you love. Treat others as you want to be treated, and don't take people's crap. Doesn't matter who they are, stranger, acquaintance, friend, best friend, or family; there's a line of what you have to take from people. Take care of yourselves first, then take care of others. Listen to God, pray, keep close to Him, and He will take care of you. If something goes wrong, cry about it and then forget about it and move on. Life isn't worth wasting. You are worth more than wasting your tears on people or things that don't matter.
Do what you love, make yourself happy, and be kind.
Always be kind.
Everybody love everybody,
M.D.
Side Note: I was trying to add pictures of Hawaii and Brazil when my computer crashed (I really really need a new one) and so I am extremely grateful that blogger saves things automatically. So, no pictures this post. I'll catch y'all next time.
I have a tendency to get very attached to my friends.
This weekend I had to say goodbye to two of my favorite people on the planet. Rachel, because she is moving to Hawaii for school, and Ryan, because he is going to Brazil for two years to serve an LDS mission.
I woke up early Saturday, went to Rachel's room which is/was directly above mine, and laid on her bed with her and just talked. Then we got up and she started packing, I played some of our favorite music and we just kept talking. We didn't really bring up her leaving or why she was packing or the fact that we don't really know when we'll see each other again. We just sat in that moment and enjoyed it.We laughed and reminisced and sang oldies. I helped her pack her things into her sister's car, and took home a few things she didn't want anymore.
Then it was time, we had everything done, everything out of the room and in the car, and it was time for goodbyes.
I had been so strong, but the tears hit and hit hard. I cried as I hugged her goodbye and watched her get in the car. I then proceeded to try and find a place to quietly let out my tears. My roommate was home and I felt awkward crying in front of her, so I went down to the basement of the building I live in, to the laundry room, to this sketchy, ghetto, kinda nasty little bathroom, and I sat on the floor and just cried and cried.
And then I just I started laughing.
I mean, come on. I'm sitting on the floor of a gross little secluded bathroom stall, I'm practically folded into myself because its maybe two feet across and I'm 5'11, and I'm crying hysterically, trying to wipe my eyes with this insanely scratchy toilet paper, and then as I'm sitting there, these girls come into the laundry room and proceed to talk about better ways to clean and dry their bras. They couldn't see me, and considering I didn't want to awkwardly come out of the stall with puffy red eyes, I just stayed there, trapped into hearing their inane conversation, until they left 15 minutes later.
At that point I truly lost it. I started giggling so bad, but while still slightly crying. I soon left the bathroom floor and took a much needed nap.
I can't write these situations, they just happen to me.
I miss Rachel so bad. She's one of my best friends on every level. I don't think we've ever disagreed on anything, and she has opened my eyes to so many fantastic things. So many movies and artists and music, I can't begin to describe. She is a phenomenal human being, and I am so grateful and proud to call her my friend. I'm so excited for her to go to Hawaii and get tan and be warm and have a great time at school, she deserves the best.
Rach, you've always been there for me, you're always there when I have stories to tell, and you never fail with good advice or a sympathetic ear. You're gorgeous inside and out, and you best bring me a sunset boy when we visit each other. We'll make it work. Someday we'll get a bookstore and run it together and live in an apartment on top of it. Siempre solo, but together. We'll watch cat videos and buy some cute birds and train them to do cool stuff. It's not goodbye, it's just see you later. I love you, crazy girl. I don't have anyone else in the world to make pterodactyl noises and motions with. Hahaha. If you don't like Hawaii, you can always come back.
I've known Ryan since we were probably thirteen-years-old, and we hated each other. Haha.
He was such a brat through high school, Mr. Football-playing-buttfaced-miscreant. I was just uncomfortable in my own skin and very socially awkward. We had mutual friends (kind of), and we saw each other at church activities and some school football games and such, but even though we weren't outright mean to each other, we were definitely not friends.
I went away to school, Ryan graduated, and we both grew up a bit. It really wasn't until this summer that we realized that we had the same sense of humour, and that we've been missing out on this friendship for years.
Timing is a funny thing that way. We had half our short lives to be friends, and it wasn't until about six or so months before I was leaving for school and he was leaving for his mission that we really became close.
This poor kid. He has had to deal with my batch of crazy texts and phone calls and stories of creepers and clumsy moments. He's kind of like the long lost brother/cousin person I've never had. That's what I love best about guy friends, is that once they learn that I can take a joke and dish it right back, we're bros from then on. Even though it hasn't been a long time of actual friendship, I'm so grateful for becoming friends with Ryan and all the inside jokes and good times we had before I left and then he left.
Ryan, you're awesome. You are gonna be one super missionary. I can't believe you've already been set apart and you're leaving in the morning. That means you probably won't read this for another two years, unless I copy and paste it in an email to you. I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm still working on The Letter, and it's gonna make you pee your pants from the sheer hilarity and jokes. That's right. I'm gonna embarrass you from an entire different continent. WHAT NOW? Haha. I'm glad you got all the N's out of your system before you were set apart. I have that text saved, and I will keep it to remind you of how awesome your vocabulary is. Godspeed, brother. You know I love you. Don't forget to hit up Rachel when you get back, cuz I want you two to get married and name a kid after me. It's not a lot to ask for! Anyway, I'll see you in two years, and you best believe I'ma spam you all the time.
After I was said goodbye to Ryan, I ended up calling my mom and crying, because even though I know it's not forever, and I know I will be able to contact them both, it's still a goodbye for me for now, and I hate it. I want all of my loved ones near me all the time. Plus, this weekend wasn't really fair with the two of them leaving me at the same time. My poor heart has a hard time handling these things. Time is going to fly, it really is. But it's ok to be a little bit sad right now.
Appreciate the people in your life that you love. Treat others as you want to be treated, and don't take people's crap. Doesn't matter who they are, stranger, acquaintance, friend, best friend, or family; there's a line of what you have to take from people. Take care of yourselves first, then take care of others. Listen to God, pray, keep close to Him, and He will take care of you. If something goes wrong, cry about it and then forget about it and move on. Life isn't worth wasting. You are worth more than wasting your tears on people or things that don't matter.
Do what you love, make yourself happy, and be kind.
Always be kind.
Everybody love everybody,
M.D.
Side Note: I was trying to add pictures of Hawaii and Brazil when my computer crashed (I really really need a new one) and so I am extremely grateful that blogger saves things automatically. So, no pictures this post. I'll catch y'all next time.
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