Buckle up, my friends. This is going to be a rant.
Being 19, I am in what one might call "The Dating Scene."
Being in Utah, I am in an even more annoying dating scene.
First, as a lady, I would like to address the man-folk.
Boys, GROW SOME BALLS. Girls WANT to be asked out. This is not rocket science.
Ask. Us. Out.
On real, actual dates.
So help me, if you keep just "hanging out" with me, or texting me cute stuff, or dropping hints, but NOT DOING ANYTHING, I will assume you've been castrated and aren't man enough to ask me out.
Here's a big secret: We, as women, would very much like to be asked on dates. SURPRISE.
What is the worst that could happen? She says no? MOVE ON, SWEETIE.
If a girl says no, that hasn't changed your situation at all. You didn't have a date with her before, and you don't have a date with her now. The only thing that is different, is that you can go find someone else to ask out. You no longer have to wonder if there's a chance with that particular girl, you can find someone that will work out better. Boom.
Whether we admit it or not, classy girls love (and deserve) chivalry. Open her doors, pay for the date, treat her with respect. Don't over-think everything, just be yourselves.
Don't you dare ask a girl out via text. Texting has been the death of real, honest communication. Ask her with a phone call, or best yet, ask her in person. Don't text her. DON'T DO IT. Spend real, face-to-face time with her. (What do you think marriage is gonna be like? One long text? No.)
Stop hanging out with girls. Just stop it. Go on dates, be assertive, and get yourselves some women! If you're not going to step up and make a clear point of pursuing a girl, then let her go. Let someone else do that. Because THAT guy will end up with her.
If you've manned up and found a girl, do not get so excited that you scare her off. Seduction is a slow-burning technique. It's as if you're throwing a frog in a pot of boiling water. If you blow up her phone, ask to see her every single day ever, mention how many children you want, or how much your mom likes her already, and you have JUST met...that girl (frog) will jump right out of that pot. Take it slow, it's worth it. You do not take a rose petal and throw it in a hole, dump a pitcher of water on it, shove some dirt over it and have a rosebush the next day. It does not happen. Just trust me on this. Don't rush into a relationship, don't rush into marriage, just RELAX. Unless you have a terminal disease, there is time to think these things through. Calm yourself.
If, however, you have been together for quite some time, and you both are set on each other, why would you wait to get married? Nike dude, just do it.
And as for the ladies, you're not off the hook either.
If that poor boy manned up enough to ask you on a proper date, you better freakin' say yes.
Unless you are already dating someone, are a lesbian, or have proof that he is an actual serial killer/rapist, you say yes to that boy. Just say yes to that first date, the second date is your choice. If he really, genuinely, truly, makes you feel uncomfortable, get some friends to go on a double or triple date with you. Listen to your gut and be safe. (Pepper spray and a knife in your purse.)
If there isn't any hope after the first date, don't lead him. Don't you dare. Let that boy-man find someone else. Do not ever lead a guy on because you can, because you're lonely, because he's too nice to stand up for himself, because whatever. Don't. That is cruel and stupid. You are wasting his time and yours, and you should be slapped.
Just because you are a woman, does not mean that you can treat boys like dirt. Don't do that to anybody, actually. If he is paying for your dinner, your movie, your ticket somewhere, your whatever-you-do-on-your-date, frickin' say thank you. Be polite and sweet, and show him respect.
As for yourselves, have some self-respect. Don't be a big ol' whore just because he paid for your dinner. If he just gets to know your ladycave, he's never going to get to know the rest of you, i.e. your brain, your life, your hopes and dreams, etc. Respect yourself, respect him, and make your momma proud. Classy women are never out of style.
People around the world (but especially here in warped Utah) need to just relax. Get married when you're ready, not when you're horny/lonely. If you're 19 (or 20 something) and you're not married, engaged, or even dating at all, THAT'S OK. You figure out who YOU are, what YOU need, what YOU want in life. The few years between high school and marriage are the blessed few years you have every right to be selfish. In these years you will have to choose a college, a career, a place to live, and a person to spend your life with. All the big decisions of your life are made now. You do what will most benefit you. Have fun, but also get your crap together.
Something my dad always says is, "Have a good life. If you find someone to share it with, that's great. But don't spend your life waiting for them to appear and make your life." There's no guarantees in life. Not everyone will get married. Not everyone will stay married. Things happen. But who wants to be on their deathbed and think they've spent their whole life waiting?
The point of this post is to just say, get over it. You're gonna die one day, and none of this will matter. So man up, (or wo-man up) and get out there. Make decisions, make mistakes, date people, go on adventures, take trips to Spain on a whim, and most importantly...get the frick out of your comfort zone. Take chances, take risks, and learn from everything.
Oh, and ask girls out on real dates.
Carpe Diem (Or, "YOLO" as the stupid people say),
Meg
